Help! I’m twenty and “forever alone”!

376102_2543059545803_2113588157_nThese are my parents during a Halloween Party my senior year of High school. My mom and dad didn’t find each other until they were in their mid-thirties. They are happy and not “forever alone”. 

These are just my beliefs. You might not agree with them, and that’s great! We all have different beliefs and ideas, glory to God! While you might not believe in others beliefs, others might not believe in yours. 

My generation is obsessed with marriage. Girls go crazy over Pinterst pinning their ideal wedding, there are many bridal shows that are some of my go-to shows to watch, there are hundreds of movies about falling in love…the list could go on and on. One of the top things I hear girls saying is, “forever alone”. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend when you are 20 does not mean you will never find that “special someone”. This drives me crazy, and I even say it sometimes! Why are we so fixated on finding the love of our  lives before we are even at the legal age to drink?! You have your whole life to be married!

“Forever alone”. That phrase is usually meant as a joke, but I think it has a deeply rooted meaning in our hearts. There is this fear that we will never find that one person. We see all of these perfectly written romance movies and we think to ourselves, “I want that!”. Yes, even guys think this too, although some might not verbally admit it. We see our friends falling in love, getting engaged, married, and starting their lives with their spouse. We think, “will I ever have that too?”. Isn’t that crazy? I’m 20, not 40!

Nothing against any young couples out there. I have a bunch of friends who are either happily married or getting engaged! All the glory to God for those couples! However; I am not one of those. And honestly, I don’t want to be! Why rush a good thing? I feel like I am too young to know what I want and how I want it. I am still trying to figure out my next move in life. I have so many dreams and goals I would like to reach. I’m not saying having a guy would be bad… who wouldn’t want to be in love?! All I’m saying is that I am done feeling sorry for myself about being single at 20…

One of my favorite things I hear is that God has a plan! THAT IS SO TRUE. The part I hate that follows that phrase is, “maybe His plan doesn’t involve me getting married”. Mmkay. God has you in his best interests. He will not abandon you and He loves you. If you have this burning passion and longing to be married, why would the one person who loves you more than you can even imagine not want you to be happy? Marriage is biblical and is designed to give God the glory, so why would God deprive himself of that? If God’s plan for you was to be “forever alone” (even though you are never alone because you have God), He would have placed this desire on your heart to not get married. If not now, it will be placed on your heart in the future. There are so many things in my life where, at the time, I thought I needed it. I had this burning desire to be a singer. My sister and I would even make up songs together (if you know me well, you have probably heard me give you a demo…haha), we bought a guitar, keyboard, and even microphones. I sang all the time and was constantly thinking of new band names. I was dead set on becoming a singer; that was my one desire in life. 10 years later, yeah it would be cool to be a pop star, but that isn’t my desire or mission in life anymore. God changed my heart to be focused on what His plan for me is. Who knows what that will look like 10 years from now. I don’t think it is cruel that God’s plan for me doesn’t involve me being a famous superstar because I don’t desire that anymore. God places desires and passions on our hearts so we can use them to give Him glory. The same goes for a marriage. If God places this desire to be married on your heart, don’t just get married to have a wedding and not be “forever alone”, get married because you love that person and you can and WILL give God all the glory in that marriage. When people keep saying that they are “forever alone”, they are lacking trust and faith in their creator. God will not leave your side, ever. No matter what. I have faith that God will provide for me. In whatever path He leads me down, I know that I will continue to live my life in  a way that glorifies Him.

My standards are high. Many of my friends say I am too “picky”. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think that having me want a guy who puts Christ first is a bad standard. Maybe a guy like that is harder to find, but so what?  If God wills me to get married, He will provide a man for me. If God does not will me to get married, I know that He will provide for me something even better. I am so tired of hearing people, myself included, complain about being single. What is so bad about being single?! I really don’t see anything wrong with it. This is the perfect time to find out who you are, see what you like, figure out what your dreams are, and most importantly, get to know your creator on your own terms. This is the time to gain confidence in your beliefs and in your faith.

So yes, I am 20 years old, I am not engaged or even dating anyone, and I am extremely happy. All the glory to God.


Kelly Ruth


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