I think we as a people have forgotten what it really means to be a friend. As stated in Proverbs 17:17, a friend loves at all times. Not when it is convenient. Not only in the hard times or the good times. In Proverbs 18:24, it says “there is a friend who stays closer than a brother”. Think about your friendships you have. Do you have someone in your life that loves you more than your own sibling would or does? Even deeper than that, are you that person for someone else? Too many times do I hear people complaining, myself included, how they don’t have true, lasting friendships. No one cares about them or wants to know how they are really feeling. But, I must ask, are you pouring into others the way you want to be poured into?
As Jeff Yourison said,
“A true friend is one who helps you see the truth, even if it hurts. This doesn’t mean we can go around stabbing our friends with hurtful words. Rather, it means being up front with friends about important issues, raising gentle questions with tact and love, never gossiping or putting them down to others behind their backs”.
Are you being that kind of friend to someone? Can you honestly say that you have an unselfish friendship? This day and age, our life motto is “it’s all about me”. From road rage, classes, your job, walking in the mall, to even the most purest of them all… friendship, our mentality is that if it is not directly benefiting us at this moment, it isn’t worth it.
Now, I don’t want to stereotype anyone, but if you look deep inside, these feelings to some degree probably pop up somewhere. If you are unhappy with your friendships, take a look at yourself first. Are you genuinely pouring into others?
With that being said, it is very frustrating when you pour into someone with so much love and they don’t return the favor. They just take. There are countless times when I invest in my friendships and it feels like they couldn’t care less if something tragic happened in my life. I can’t express to you the number of times I have asked someone how their day was and I just got their response back; no return of compassion. Or I will text someone and they won’t respond for days. Sometimes, it feels like I am interviewing my “friends”. “How was your day?” “Good.” “How were classes?” “Fine.” “What are you doing tonight?” “X, y, and z.” Great. I do genuinely want to know, but don’t you want to know about me, too?
I think we all need to look inside ourselves and evaluate how we invest in others. Are we just investing in them when it is convenient for us? Do we only answer our friends questions and never ask them any? Do we encourage our friends towards Christ everyday or towards worldly pleasures and sin?
Do you have an unselfish friendship?
As Christians, we should always be striving for Gospel-centered community. Community is so important with our walk and who you are friends with truly does matter. Investing in one another, breaking bread with one another, living life together, and being 100% known to your group of friends is so important and should not be overlooked.
Let us all strive for unselfish friendship in a day where selfishness flourishes.
John 15:12, “This is my command: love one another as I have loved you.”